Human Playground

As far as I can tell, the general game plan for Wednesdays is as follows:  at some point around 10 or 10:30am the tiny-tykes start arriving in mass.  At first, there are just two vans, but a power-child veteran knows not to let his guard down, for each van can hold anywhere between 30 children and a small African safari.  Today, conservative estimates put forty-five kindergartners to a car, with a third shuttle arriving shortly thereafter to complete the armada.  Faced then with nearly one hundred and fifty bouncing children, we spent the next two hours as human play-grounds.

With a faculty student ratio of  about seventy-five to one, this group was unsurprisingly a volatile mass, and the slightest stimulus (read: any of us sitting down or becoming otherwise vulnerable to their midget-attacks) became a beacon for moshing.  Like moths to a terrified light that was trying to run away, the children followed us around the compound, until eventually overwhelmed, we were dragged down into their clutches.  A few of the kids spoke English, but none of them seemed to speak ‘AHHHHHGG get them OFF ME oh my gawd my pants are falling down! I can’t breath! I CAN’T BREATH!!!’.

When they finally loaded up (six to a seat) and left the campus, we were wholly spent, yet simultaneously filled with enough self-validation to last a lifetime.  After thirty minutes of nursing our wounds (read: sun burns + Indian rug burns + turf burns) we began round two: elementary school students.  A somewhat calmer bunch, we where now able to organize structured games, practice developing English skills (read: Justin Bieber lyrics), and generally relax a little.  We helped serve the students lunch, and then waved goodbye and prepared for our third and final act: high-schoolers.  Luckily for us, this was easiest group yet, and participation here consisted mainly of playing soccer for hours on end. Eventually, even this drew to a close, and we all drove back to Cape Town for the night.

- Bay Gross